IMPORTANT! NEW URLs!!

Hello, to anyone who is actually following our ramblings!

I have started a new blog as it is no longer appropriate to share this one. You can find it at Half-A-Korean (http://half-a-korean.blogspot.kr). I named it after the nickname I earned from my coworkers for being just a little bit different from the average foreigner.

Hannah has opted not to maintain a blog and prefers to keep track of her experiences on Facebook. She keeps her old posts on the current page.

In the meantime, to those who have been reading faithfully, thank you for supporting both of us.

Cheers,

-Garrett (and Hannah)

The Kimchi Update

So, we've been getting some argles for our not updating the blog in a while.
Well, to be honest, not too much is going on. I've been busy with rehearsals and random stuff (including seeing an acupuncturist, Korean lessons, and school), and Garrett has been slightly injured. We've finally discovered an expat bar that doesn't totally suck, and we've been eating lots of Cheesy Kimchi Pajeon, but that deserves a post all of its own.
BUT, Kimchi has been doing lots of exciting things.




 Like cuddling!

and hiding!

 

  and going outside!

She isn't so fond of the last one. We realized she was getting a little chubby (being an indoor cat without much to do) and decided it was time for her to go outside.

We bought her a leash and forced her into it. Luckily, she is pretty calm, so she didn't fight too much. The best part, however, was after the harness was on. She just did not know what to do. She just kept flopping...

ALSO, I can apparently write whatever I want about my family because NO ONE IN MY FAMILY READS THIS BLOG. YOU GUYS FAIL. This site now has this little tracker that tells the state/area where we get hits...Maybe Wes is reading it because he is using some fake IP, but everybody else.... FAIL

This leads me to the question of HOW DO WE GET MORE THAN 5 HITS?
It ain't my family.

Desk Warming and Self-Reflections

So, some at this point some people may have noticed a nearly month-long lag in updates and stories from our experience here. Well, there's a good reason for that: it's been a very quiet month. We have not had any classes, but we have not had any vacation. I will explain.

You see, an odd quirk of the Korean school year is having a "Winter Break" running during January for 3 weeks (during which we had to teach our "camps" and took our vacation to Seoul) followed almost immediately by a "Spring Break" during February for 3 weeks. The two breaks are separated by a week of "classes" where the students put in time until the graduation ceremony at the end of the week. Anyway, since Hannah and I were allotted 10 days of vacation time during the winter break and 8 days for our summer break (August), we were not entitled to any vacation time during the spring break, despite having almost literally nothing to do.

Hence the term "desk warming", meaning we come in to work to keep our desks warm.

Now, many foreign teachers will take this moment to complain about how bored they are and how it's a waste of time and yaddah-yaddah, but I've found this time to eventually be pretty peaceful. At first the days drag by and you try to fill it by playing on the internet and watching movies (in lieu of watching movies, I've been keeping abreast of the whole North Korean nuke situation), but eventually you use the time to reflect on things and sometimes discover things about yourself- good and bad- through ample introspection. I suppose it could be likened to a temple stay in that you have time to meditate and reflect. Regardless of what you do with your time, desk warming is somewhat a rite of passage for EPIK teachers: something you have to do, like it or not.

Unfortunately, whereas my time has been filled with reading the news and thinking about life, Hannah's "desk warming" has been anything but for the most part! Poor thing has been run ragged by a couple of her teachers trying to throw together lesson materials on-the-fly. For instance, one day she was told that she needed to come up with about 30 different books and activities for each... within 2 days. She actually pulled it off without too too much hassle, but it could have been easier for her if she were given more notice and more say in which books (one teacher especially is incredibly indecisive and, while she is not shy to shoot down Hannah's ideas, is loathe to provide her own). Thankfully, now Hannah has had at least a couple of days to watch shows at her desk like most of the others do.

Now, sitting at the end of it all, I find it astonishing how quickly the time has passed! I write now with only 2 days to spare until the weekend, with classes beginning again on Monday! I originally thought I would have the entire first month of lesson plans completed and polished, but have found that I've only made outlines for 3 of the 5 with 2 of the lessons completed (that being said, I have plotted out an entire curriculum of topics and general lesson plans for all of my lessons for the next 5 months, so it's not exactly like I've been staring at the ceiling the entire time). However, the time to pause and reflect I have found to be unexpectedly crucial for this job: the winter break was much too busy with camps and running around to be at all refreshing and I came back to work actually worse for wear for that middle-week. In the end, though many dread it, desk warming turned out to be a good thing.

I've reflected a lot on a variety of things during this time- how to approach teaching in a better way, what I want to see and do during the next 8 months here, whether I want to stay another year (I don't), and what lies for me beyond this year. I've also reflected on a lot of unpleasant things that could only be approached with considerable time and effort, which desk warming afforded me for a short time. Regarding my current mentality, I love this country, my co-workers, my new friends, and even some of the students, but struggling to teach English to classrooms of raucous middle schoolers is not how I want to spend my life. In the meantime, I need to enjoy my time here, not take my job too seriously (which is probably the root of my frustration with teaching), and be grateful that I have this wonderful opportunity to learn and explore and share with people that I would have otherwise never met.

**That being said, the job itself is a good job for those who are passionate about teaching English. I've just realized that teaching classrooms is not my passion in life, which is something I sought to explore by coming to Korea. Others like me came for the adventure and want to stay because they like teaching! Regardless, I have no regrets coming here and know of very, very few people who do.**

The "Red Team": Reactions from our tour of the DMZ

Take a deep breath.... this one is a BIG one!

Recently, Hannah and I went to Seoul (Hannah is writing about that as I sit here writing about my thingy) and we were able to get a spot with the USO for a tour of the DMZ (De-Militarized Zone). For those that don't know about it, I'm about to lay some history on y'all:

Just to prove we were there. Behind us, a South Korean soldier and a North Korean soldier glare at each other across the border (the North Korean is a dot behind Hannah's head).

Following WWII and the defeat of the Empire of Japan, there were quite a few negotiations going on regarding ownership of the Japanese territories that were annexed before and during the war, one of which was Korea. For reasons that seem to me unclear, the peninsula was divided neatly across 38 degrees north latitude (the 38th Parallel) with the Soviet Union taking custodianship of the northern half and the United States of the south. ((Wikipedia says something about the USSR invading Manchuria and occupying northern Korea around the time of the negotiations, but I think something is missing here)). Anyway, the goal was to introduce a democratic government in Korea with the eventual goal of reunification.

In 1950, negotiations were held between both Koreas for the terms of reunification. However, negotiations broke down and North Korea, aided by Soviet forces, launched a massive invasion of the South. At this point, I can go into details about the "Pusan Perimeter" and the "Incheon landing" and the eventual involvement of Chinese forces in the war.... but I won't because I'm not a historian. Suffice it to say that, after Chinese forces were added to the mix, ironically the fighting stabilized at the 38th Parallel, where the border exists to this day. Following the ceasefire in 1953 (the war never truly ended. since the countries are still at war, technically) a border was erected along the middle of the divided nation. As part of the negotiations of the ceasefire act, forces on both sides were required to retreat 2km away from the line on either side. This created a 4km-wide stretch of land going across the peninsula, which, ironically enough, came to be known as the DE-militarized zone. I say this ironically because this border is among the most heavily protected and armed borders in the world!

Of note here are the 38th parallel (border pre-conflict), the Military Demarcation Line (border after conflict- present), DMZ buffer zone, and locations of 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Infiltration Tunnels (covered in some detail later on in the post)

In this area there are massive razorwire fences, active minefields, watch towers, and highly-trained blackbelt soldiers with guns that would give a deep woods conservative hick a potentially fatal joygasm. I'm taking fully automatic rifles, rocket-propelled grenades, sniper rifles, and heavy-duty magnums. These people do NOT like each other!

Come and say that over HERE, mother f***er! (Not my photo!)

Anyway, our tour begins at Camp Kim USO in Seoul. Hannah and I shook ourselves out of bed at the hanok around 5:50AM to arrive at the USO at 7AM. The bus departed promptly at 7:30AM on the dot. If you were but a moment too late, your 96,000won deposit (about 85$ CDN) counted for nothing. We headed northward out of the big city lights and into the country. After about an hour, we arrived at a massive gate with massive soldiers and massive roadblocks. Unfortunately, pictures were/are pretty scarce after this point because there were many conditions and orders in effect, so all I can do is write about it. I'm guessing they don't want the North to get ahold of any info regarding their blockades and traps. That and, well, they would confiscate my camera if they caught me being a dick about it, so I decided to be a good boy! Anyway, this intimidating barrier would mark the beginning of the South Korean DMZ.

After this gate was an area of fairly dense deciduous forest and wide trenches. We were told that this was an active minefield used to dissuade intruders. We were also told that, on occasion, animals set them off! How much would THAT suck?? We also came across electric fences and tank traps which, apparently, span all the way across the peninsula! We were not told to avoid straying from the group at any point, but it did not need to be said.

After a 20 minute drive through various checkpoints and waiting stations, we arrived at Camp Bonifas- so named after an American Captain killed during the 1976 axe incident (more on that later). We were given a very short briefing and were required to sign waivers that stated, in essence, that if we were injured, shot, incinerated, blown up, dismembered, decapitated, eviscerated, eye-gouged, stabbed, poisoned, or got any little boo-boos of any sort, the army was not responsible. We were, in essence, entering a war zone.

Following the briefing, we loaded up in a military-owned transit bus and headed to the first (and possibly most-fascinating) stop on our tour: the border crossing at Panmunjom. It was during our departure from this base that I caught my first glimpse of a MASSIVE North Korean flag just over the treeline. Everyone on the bus hushed themselves in awe and my heart sank about an inch. We were not in Kansas anymore.

More about it later on in the post.

Panmunjom used to be the name of a small village just south of this area, but now comes to represent the crossing and the soldiers barracks at the area where we would get as close to North Korea as we could without being arrested or killed. In this area, South Korean guards in full uniform stood like statues glaring into the North and US Solders walked about as backup. The blue buildings along the border belong to UN forces and the grey ones belong to the North.

There were multiple South Korean guards protecting us.

Side note: this fellow is standing this way so that, if bullets start to fly, at least half of his body is protected by the building. The North Koreans do this too when they're posturing.

Across the border, we could see a lone North Korean guard standing at his post. I was surprised by how young, thin, and frail the guy looked. On occasion, he would take out a camera and take pictures of us. I fail to see why, though, as there were quite possibly hundreds of video cameras mounted on both sides of the border looking in all directions.

One person in our group asked why there were so many Southern guards and only one Northern guard. It was a good question. Apparently, when tour groups come in, the South is allowed to have several guards out whereas the north is only allotted one. The same applies vice-versa. This is to reduce the likelihood of an incident during the tours. I cannot imagine how much it must suck for the lonely South Korean guard stuck on duty when the North brings forth their legions!

I hate "tour day"! (Not my photo, unfortunately)

We were ushered into a bunker-like room at the border. In this room were two towering South Korean "stone soldiers" and a long table with a line of microphones going down the middle. We were told that the mics are ALWAYS on and that they are monitored constantly (a potential contender for most boring job EVER). The Six-Party talks (South Korea, North Korea, USA, Japan, Russia, and China) occur at these tables during negotiations and the line down the middle of the table follows the exact border between the two countries. This means that, during the time this photo was taken, I was standing in North Korean soil!

This photo is just to prove that I was, in fact, "in" North Korea for 2 minutes.

We were ushered out of this building after a fairly short time and taken to our next spot: a guard post overlooking the so-called "Propaganda Village" of Kijong-dong.

Click to enlarge. This one really can't be scrolled past.

I have to say, that this particular spot was absolutely eerie. In this place, the vastness of North Korea becomes almost overwhelming. What especially spooked me was not the guns, guards, razor wire, or even the city before us. What spooked me was the immensity of the North and how barren it was. The tree-line ends at the border and nothing but naked earth spans on into the distance. Even the immense snow-covered mountains were laid bare. It just looked cold and dead, yet hauntingly beautiful. We were taken to another site later, the Dorasan Observatory, were we got another broad glimpse of the North. though the view was not as unobstructed.

It reminded me a great deal of a photograph I saw in one of my biology textbooks. The border between Haiti and the Dominican Republic is incredibly stark. Whereas the Dominican side is lush tropical rainforest, the Haitian side has been cut down to the earth in attempt to glean any possible resources. Part of me wondered if the North Korean side was bare for surveillance reasons, or for economical reasons. Hannah tells me she heard that the trees have all been cut since North Korea has no oil and largely cannot trade for oil, so they need to burn wood for warmth.

Guess which side is the poorest nation in North America?

Anyway, not too far in the distance sat Kijong-Dong. In the middle of this impressive village was a massive, 160m-tall flagpole touting what is supposedly the largest flag in the world (dry weight, 300kg!). We caught it on an amazing day with a good breeze and 100% visibility. Our tour guide even remarked that she had never seen such good conditions for the tour.

The offending flagpole in question.

A funny story about the flag: for some time there has been a large flagpole in Kijong-dong to, in essence, advertise the 'greatness' of the North. However, in the South Korean DMZ there is a small farming village called Daesong-dong that erected a flagpole of rivaling size overlooking Kijong-dong. As it turns out, the South Korean flagpole was TALLER than the one on the North's side!

Daesong-dong, pictured above. We were actually not permitted to photograph the village, so this is from Google. 

So, in the 1980's, the North retaliated by making an even BIGGER flag and adding several meters to the top of the pole, making it bigger than the South's side. This came to be known as the "Flagpole Wars".

The significance of the "Propaganda Village" made the ludicrous-seeming "Flagpole Wars" make sense, in a certain light. You see, Kijang-dong was made shortly after the Korean War at great expense to the government to appear great and wealthy to potential South Korean defectors. The thing is, though, that this entire village is EMPTY, save for a handful of soldiers posted near the border. It was created only to produce the illusion of wealth and prosperity. The American soldier giving us the tour told us that there are some buildings in the village that are simply shells: buildings with windows and doors merely painted on to give the appearance of habitation from a distance. There were even several loudspeakers mounted around the area blaring pro-Northern and anti-Western  propaganda to the South in attempt to encourage defection (currently there are cameras in their places since the whole propaganda thing did not work at all). The whole flagpole thing was a matter of "saving face" and posturing.

A few kilometers away is the Kaesong joint industrial zone: named after the capital city of the Koryeo dynasty (918-1392 AD), which was on that spot. The Kaesong can be viewed as both a promising and depressing development between the two Koreas. Promising, in the sense that it is a jointly-owned (North-owned, South run) industrial area on the border that represents collaboration between the two Koreas. Depressing, in the sense that the 45,000 or so North Korean workers make pitiful wages (one source wrote 1/4 of the minimum CHINESE wage!) to make low-end products in competition with China. The 800 South Korean staff, being management, likely receive wages well above average, given the volatile nature of their jobs. Regardless, since its creation 10 years ago (established in 2002), it has been a growing source of diplomacy and economic cooperation between the Koreas- essentially a foot-in-the-door for reunification. Below is a picture from Google as, once again, I was not able to get a picture of the site.

Not shown are the factories and the highway coming from South Korea (Not my photo)

We made a very brief rolling-stop (we did not leave the bus) toward the border again to see two structures: the "Bridge of No Return" and the 1976 Axe Murder memorial. The "Bridge of No Return" is a rather unremarkable concrete bridge running between the Koreas across the border. After the Korean War this bridge served to transport prisoners of war both ways across the border. Panmunjom now serves this purpose and the bridge remains largely as a historical reminder (though a guard post is directly next to it)

The Axe Murder Memorial, however, deserves more than a one-liner. You see, prior to 1976 the Panmunjom JSA (Joint Security Area) that we visited was used by both Northern and Southern forces simultaneously. This is to say that this area was bonafide no-mans-land and both sides had guard posts on both sides of the border. This all changed in 1976. You see, at the extreme end of the JSA was a UN guard post surrounded by North Korean posts. This was all the more worrisome because the view of this post was obscured from the other UN posts by a large poplar tree nearby. To correct this, a handful of American soldiers were dispatched to remove the tree. Upon arrival, they were met by 26 North Korean soldiers who were less than impressed by the mission (our tour guide says that the "enemy" refused to allow the felling of the tree since it was "planted by Kim Il Sung himself". Upon evidence that the tree was, in fact, OLDER than Kim Il Sung himself, the northerners cited "supernatural forces"). Anyway, the Americans did little more than chop off a branch before the enemy attacked and overwhelmed them. The North Koreans were even able to kill two of the Americans by turning their own axes against them. One of those slain was Captain Arthur Bonifas, for whom the UN DMZ camp is named. Following this aggressive act, the borderline was enforced more rigidly and North Korean guard posts were removed from the South's JSA half, and vice-versa. The memorial is situated exactly where the poplar tree once stood.

A model of the Axe Incident found in one of the museums at the DMZ

After the Axe Murder Incident, the US, South Korean, and UN forces collaborated on "Operation Paul Bunyan": quite possibly the most expensive tree trimming in history. In a decisive and concerted attempt to remove the offending tree, a massive force of UNC soldiers (Wikipedia states around 800), backed up with air patrols, heavily-armoured vehicles, and attack helicopters were successfully able to remove most of the tree from the site. They even moved the aircraft carrier USS Midway near the site "just in case". A frigging aircraft carrier was used in the effort to chop down a tree. Epic. Anyway, the mission took about 45 minutes to accomplish, leaving just a stump on the spot. The stump was later replaced with the memorial in, what I can only assume, was a less dramatic show-of-force.

 The Axe Incident Memorial

Click it to see the inscription, if you're interested.

We also stopped at a site that was simultaneously comical and terrifying: the Third Infiltration Tunnel. You see, there have been four different tunnels discovered running from the North under the DMZ (located on the map of the DMZ at the beginning of the post). Of these, two are open for public viewing and the other two are heavily guarded. Discovered in 1976 with the help of a North Korean defector, this was the third of the four discovered; however, there are believed to be several more. Now, this is terrifying for obvious reasons, as this 1600m-long tunnel represents a concerted attempt by the North to invade the South near Seoul. It is also quite claustrophobic: reaching only about 1.5m tall and 2m wide. However, it is also quite comical as this linear, south-going tunnel was later claimed to be a "coal mine" when the North were questioned. Retreating soldiers even painted patches of the granite walls with coal dust in an attempt to disguise it! This is very funny since there is no indication that there would be anything but hard granite in the area and since most of the "coal patches" were not exactly artfully done.

The tunnel has been sealed at the border using a triple barricade of thick concrete, explosives, and a simple "water trap" designed to flood the tunnel when a wall is breached. There is a plaque of this system posted outside the tunnel, so I assume that the South Koreans won't mind if I post it here:

This is actually really clever!

The way they discovered this tunnel was ingenious in its simplicity. Following tips from the North Korean defector, the South inserted a series of pressurized water pipes deep into the ground near the site. When the North's mine touched a pipe, a jet of water would spew into the air above ground. The South then waited for the tunnel to touch a second pipe to calibrate for direction, and then dug down 350m to intercept the tunnel. That must have been an awkward encounter. Other discoveries were less awkward and more aggressive: for example the First Infiltration Tunnel was discovered from steam rising through the ground. Investigating units were assaulted with gunfire and explosives. Upon breaching the first tunnel, weapons stores and soldiers baracks were discovered underground. I think that, because of the complexity of this tunnel as well as its proximity to Seoul, the First Infiltration Tunnel is not available for public viewing.

At this point, I would like to point out something that both Hannah and I found more-than-a-little distasteful. Next to the Third Tunnel there was a small museum with a few wartime relics and a movie theatre that we were REQUIRED to sit in. In this theatre, we were shown a 10 minute propaganda movie not only extolling the "goodness" of the DMZ, but outward demonization of the North, calling them "deceptive liars" and the like. We hear all too often about Northern propaganda and being force-fed thoughts in the Stalinist state, but I was shocked about just how thinly-veiled the propaganda was from the supposedly-free South! I guess it works both ways when it comes to a war of ideas, even if one side purports to allow freedom of thought.

**On a bio-nerd note, the DMZ is a bit of a fascinating place since many critically endangered creatures, including Korean deer (the size of dogs), a species of leopard, red-crowned cranes, several endangered birds, and even (possibly) Siberian tigers are known to live there due to minimal human activity! How they are able to survive the mine fields I will never know, but I suppose this is at least one way that the DMZ could be considered a "good" thing. There is talk of preserving the DMZ as a nature reserve after reunification, but I'm skeptical.**

Anyway, following this, we went to lunch (bulgogi!!!) and travelled to our last stop: the Dorasan Train Station. This train station was built within the last 10 years with hopes that it could be united with North Korean tracks during reunification. The structure is largely a symbolic structure with limited practical use (no trains come here- even from the South), but it represents the desire of the South to become whole again (ed. note: if this is true, they should REALLY consider editing that propaganda movie.). The station is very modern and fairly comfortable, though very empty and quiet. I felt bad for the soldiers posted here.

The eventual goal of a pan-Eurasian railway joined to the Trans-Siberian Railway through North Korea

.....aaaaaand our lunch, for those curious. I had quite a feed!

Also, here's something you don't see everyday:

All-and-all, it was a very busy 8 hours that was well worth the price. I will say once again that this was probably my most important experience in Korea to date as it is all to easy to forget that this is a divided nation that is, in essence, at war with itself.  I feel that it is profoundly important for anyone living in Korea to visit this area to remind themselves that it's not just kimchi and cartoon animals here.

On a closing note, as I later would tell my students, in Canada and America, North Korea is basically a weird, crooked little corner of the earth somewhere "over there". It's something that warrants a minute-long block on the evening news every few weeks or, if something happens, maybe a news article in the paper. However, seeing the vastness of the land, the beauty of it and the sorrow seeping out of the landscape in person is quite a different thing entirely. To me, the place is no longer a "bunch of cultists" or a "backwards place 'over there'", it's a place that really deserves pity. This is not to say that it is a "good place", far from it!, but that it is a real place with real people in real trouble. It's too easy to forget that.

Just one more thing, the name of the update is not original. One of my hardcore gamer students, upon seeing my photo of Kijong-dong exclaimed, "OH! Red team!", which was amazingly awesome.

North Korean Beer: a tasting profile

Hello, everyone!

I am currently working on a mammoth of an update covering our visit to the South Korean portion of the DMZ (the border between North and South Korea) so, in the meantime, I thought I would write a little about one of the more unique experiences I think I will ever have in this country- or even during my entire life! I speak, of course, about the forbidden fruit seldom found outside of the isolated North:

North Korean Beer!!!!

Apparently, this beer used to be found in some bars in Seoul, however the North suddenly increased the cost of the beer by 70% without warning sometime around 2007 so it is nearly impossible to find. We were able to procure a bottle of this commie ambrosia during our DMZ tour for the paltry price of 10,000KRW (about 9$). I say this with a bit of irony as that price is a little bit ludicrous, but I now regret not having bought 2-3 more bottles of the stuff. Hannah and I opted to buy a bottle to share, since we were expecting it to be more of the same crappy, mass-produced Korean beer like Hite or Cass... in other words, only good on a hot day. I was surprised to find out just how wrong this assumption was.

The delicate art of alcohol analysis in progress...

A couple of interesting notes before I go onto the taste profile I sketched. First off, unlike the major players of the South Korean beer market, Taedonggang is made using very much European methods. What I mean by this is, whereas Hite and Cass cut their lagers with rice, corn, and others to reduce cost and maximize profit (this is only possible because of their relative monopoly over the market), the North Korean product uses pure barley in its production and use European technology (German monitoring technology and British-made brewing equipment from a now-defunct brewery). The result is something that tastes like something between a decent lager and a pale ale, which stands in stark contrast to the much lighter and waterier South Korean brews. Apparently, this brewery was made by the government to "create a world-class product". Reminds me of what one of my friends told me about the ancient Greeks: to find out if a place was "civilized" they went out to find if the indigenous people made some form of booze. The product is enjoyed by the North Korean elites, whereas the commoners usually make something out of leftover grains and some form of hops.

Hannah looking cautiously optimistic.

Now, if you don't know me well (or at all) and are just perusing this blog for insights on Korea or even just humour, first-off, THANK YOU! Secondly, you might not know that I like to consider myself somewhat of an amateur sommelier  Whereas most of my knowledge is of single malt scotch whiskies, I sometimes try to make tasting notes of interesting beers and ales as well. Bear in mind, I am by no means a professional!

Also bear in mind that I might have been a little congested when I tried to analyse it.

Taedonggang Lager, 650ml, 5.5% alc./vol.
Pyeongyang, NK
Date of tasting: January 27, 2013

Colour: Very dark amber, reminiscent of brown-stained, honey-combed glass from the first half of the 20th century.
Nose: Best described as a pale ale. Bread-like with rising dough. Some alkaloid bitterness.
Palate: A definite lager, but with a modest kick of hops. Medium-bodied. No sweetness and no evidence of dilution. Curious notes of caramel and ginger, though very faint.
Finish: Very dry. The hops show through at the end. Some burnt sugar and, oddly, italian parsley!
Comments: Surprisingly good! Though the South is clearly winning the Cold War, the North has produced something that is by far better than the major SK breweries. Hannah notes quite astutely that, "It tastes like Alexander Keith's!".

Now, I've bragged it up a little bit- largely because good beer is hard to find here- but I just want to be clear that it's far from an award-winner. It's just a good lager which, surprisingly, comes from an empoverished nation. Products like Alexander Keiths (Halifax, NS), Pumphouse's Lager (Moncton, NB), and even Moosehead Red (Saint John, NB) all taste fairly similar to the beer in different ways. Again, not revolutionary, but not bad. I'd give it a 2.6/5 (Cass, by contrast, I'd give a 2/5... Hite I'd give a 1.6/5).

I think that we can all agree, however, that they have come up with the best beer commercial I have ever seen! The music is kick-ass!

That's all for now. I should have that update on the DMZ on the page tomorrow some time. Wednesday at the latest. So far, it's 3 pages type-written and I expect it will be another 3 more.

-Garrett

Hello Kitty Cafe and Traditional Tea

In Seoul, we did not have a lot of time. In fact, we completely cut going to see the Tim Burton exhibit :(
Well, I cut that because I realized "hey, I might have liked him in the past, but he's kind of really annoying now. I guess it doesn't matter if I see this exhibit."
So, we went somewhere better:

THE HELLO KITTY CAFE

in Hongik University

So many delicious flavor options and addoooorible cakes shaped like Hello Kitty. Also, a cute little gift shop. Best part of said gift shop was the Hello Kitty in Hanbok (traditional Korean clothes). Guess what, Korea?

Hello Kitty is suuuper Japanese, and we all know it.

This is incredibly funny to me, because the Koreans (generally) HATE Japan. Good job sticking it to the man, Korea.

Regardless of the funny korea-japan fail, the cafe was awesome. I got a mint mocha, and Garrett got a latte, with a foamy cocoa powdery Hello Kitty face on top. I made him take, like, 20 photos before we could sit down.

I followed him around looking for shoes for a couple hours, so it evened out.

Obviously, everything was pink. Even the bathroom was pink and cute. There were Hello Kitty-shaped chairs, and Hello Kitty-shaped face cut out of one of the walls.

I was very sad that the drinks came in paper take-out cups instead of cute mugs. Kind of ruined it for a moment, but that's how most coffee places roll, now.

If you want directions, I am too lazy to go through the shit, now. Instead, I give you this person's page:

http://rawrkorea.blogspot.kr/2011/08/hello-kitty-cafe-directions-cats-living.html

At the bottom are the directions we used. Just be warned that the landmarks are no longer there (Paris Baguette, etc.), but the map is still 100% right :)

While the Hello Kitty Cafe is kind of a huge girl-tradition, and wayguk-tradition (everyone was just running around taking pictures), we also fulfilled a dream I had since day 1: find a real, traditional tea place.

This was surprisingly hard. Everything in Busan seems to be about coffee, and being fresh, fashionable and foreign.

In Seoul, we visited Insadong (the traditional area). This is also where we found everyone's presents, that we will be mailing off soonish, BTW. In this area, we found poop-shaped street food (they are obsessed with poop over here), Indian food, art shops, and passed by a number of cafes and tea shops. We were searching for one place that supposedly had live birds flying around but, alas, it had closed. We stumbled through a smoky alleyway and...tadah! It was a hanok tea shop. It was clearly a newer building (not one of the traditional, old, old, old hanoks), but it was gorgeous. The wood was all shiny and bright, and as the sign later told us, it was the first two-story hanok ever built. Named DK for some reason or another, the first floor was a jewelry store and the second was the tea shop. 

We basically had to go in. On the menu, I saw something no one else would get excited about : chrysanthemum tea.

In one of my Kdramas, set in 1500's/1600's Korea, the king's doctor prescribes him a bunch of traditional stuff to make him feel better--including chrysanthemum tea. I thought that was just the niftiest thing. I'm going to trust Korean-hollywood here and assume it is actually considered herbal medicine.

I had to let the hot water sit until the chrysanthemum flowers opened, then transfer it into a wide-mouthed cup to cool, then into a little cup to drink out of. The lady came over and talked about how cold it was. When I agreed, she brought me a blanket. Luckily, I looked around and it seemed all the girls had blankets, so I felt less ridiculous.

We also ordered some traditional Korean snacks -- the darker ones are the Yakgwa (honey cooookiiees), that are my favorite korean snack, in the first place, so this was heavenly--sitting on the floor with my tea, blanket, and homemade korean cookies. Garrett got a quince tea (like apples), and it was very sweet and delicious. Behind me was a giant jug of what looked like stewing quince, so we guess they let it sit for a long time to get flavorful.

After everything, it was a little pricey, but more than worth it.

We also discovered that, to use the bathroom, you actually had to go outside, downstairs, slip on some house shoes, and then go inside again. It was funny and Korean :P

Now, if you want directions for this one--oops.

I will tell you what we did. Walk down the main Insadong street from the main road (from the direction of Anguk Station). You'll see this big shopping center/almost strip mall to the left (where they sell the poop-snacks!). Immediately after is an alleyway. It's only, like, 10 yards down the street. Also, if it's late at night, try looking for the alleyway filled with street-vendor smoke! When we walked through, it was like walking through clouds!!

We love Kimchi!

This will be late news to some and amazingly surprising for others, but we have an announcement:

We officially love Kimchi.

Naturally, we also have developed an affinity for the korean variety of spiced and fermented cabbage that anyone who knows anything about Korea knows about, but what I am referring to is this:

This is a Kimchi. More precisely, this is Kimchi (with a capital K). At the time of writing, we have had her for just over 10 days. She has just started to warm up to us, which is to be expected.

Here's the story: as some of you know very well, Hannah and I (especially Hannah) have been looking for a pet kitty for some time. The difficulty, however, was finding a mature cat (over a year old) that has been neutered. Bonus points for difficulty: NOT a pure-bred cat! What we wanted, ideally, was a stray cat that was fixed at a shelter... however, the only animal shelter in Busan (more precisely Gimhae) deals only with dogs. No cats. At all. The nearest cat shelter is in Daegu- 3 hours to the both by Korail, and even then it's no guarantee!

We have tried a number of animal hospitals around our area, including the one with the French-speaking vet, and even went very far afield to Gimhae City (2 hours away by Busan transit) to see a cat breeder, only to find tonnes and tonnes of WAY too tiny kittens and overpriced, sexually functional pure bred cats. Not exactly fulfilling work, but we did see a surprising amount of the city through our searches.

Eventually, I got annoyed from expending all of this effort for no gain and emailed the aforementioned animal shelter (BAPS: Busan Animal Protection Shelter) to inquire about cats. After all, maybe they had some that were not mentioned. After a mere 3 hours, they replied and affirmed that they had no cats. HOWEVER, they are associated with a vet near Dongeuil University who might have some info about cats. So, YAY!, now I had an "in", as I like to say.

About 4 days later, I was put in contact with the vet who, as luck would have it, had a client with a stray cat that she had taken in. The cat had been neutered only 7 days prior and had recently finished weaning her litter of kittens. After very short deliberation with Hannah (who was thrilled), we arranged to meet that weekend.

Shortly after arriving at the vet's office, the lady with the cat arrived with a bright yellow pet carrier. We were both excited and nervous. Now, I won't go into the minutia of our first impressions of the cat we would later name Kimchi, but suffice it to say she was quite nervous too. By this, I mean she was terrified and ought out every hiding place available in the vet's office! I said that "Maybe she's a racist cat", which the vet found highly amusing! After hearing her story, her behaviour was not exactly a surprise:

Kimchi is a former stray cat who was living in a storage locker somewhere on the opposite side of town from us. Apparently the lady inherited the locker from a relative and had been feeding the cat for the better part of a year. We heard from the vet that out Kimchi was "very famous" in her neighbourhood for being a very friendly and social cat; so much so that the owners of the storage complex gave special permission for the cat to live in the locker. In this locker the had a litter of four kittens about four months ago and had been tending to them in there.

Home, sweet house

However, the winter (until very recently) has been much colder than usual in Busan and the storage complex owners insisted that the cat had to be removed... so the lady renting the locker took the cat in and gave away the kittens. She kept the cat for 10 days and got her neutered with the intention of keeping her as a pet; however, she was very hostile toward her other two pet cats, so she decided to give her away for adoption. So, really, at the time of meeting her, Kimchi had been through a lot in a very short time period! Separated from her kittens, taken to a new home, neutered, and being given away to another home in under two weeks. Poor bugger.

Once we got a good look at her, my biologist/future medical doctor "instincts" came out and I gave her an examination. No infections, no mites, no exoparasites, well-nourished.... just scared as all hell. Hannah and I eventually decided that she would calm down after a while and agreed to adopt her. Here's the extra-special late-Christmassy part: the lady agreed to give her away for 100,000KRW (about 85$ CDN), however, she loved her so much that she did not want any of this money for herself! Rather, she would GIVE Kimchi to us with the condition that we spent 100,000KRW at the vet for supplies for the cat- stuff that we were going to buy anyway! How could we refuse that?!

And so, we loaded up with food, toys, and litter, and went to the subway. We got a LOT of stares from the other people on the subway! Eventually, we brought the cat home and, before unleashing the cat on our apartment, I insisted on some christening words: "I DECLARE THIS THE NEW APARTMENT FOR OUR WAYWARD KITTY! RELEASE.... THE KITTY!!!"

...for those who do not understand the reference. ((NOTE! Do NOT watch this if you are easily frightened or suffer extreme vertigo))

And so, with great fanfare and rejoicing, our new kitty.... stayed in her carrier for the next 3 hours. A little anti-climactic. After a while, we fished her out.... and she ran under the TV stand for ANOTHER 4 hours. Then, we got annoyed, fished her out, and blockaded the spot... but she found another: a small cubby hole in the shelf. "Fine", we thought, and let her wait it out there for the next 6 hours. Some time in the night, she EXPLODED in her litter box and devoured her food. She would remain in her cubby hole for the next 2 days.

...and every other possible hiding place in between

Now, she will let us pet her without flinching and even plays with her mouse-on-a-rope! She is still a while away from coming up to us for affection and cuddling us at night, but at least she is out of her cubby hole!

Of course, now she's always on Hannah's chair in the corner

So, to conclude, we now have our kitty! Sometimes, you just have to ask! If any expats reading this want to get their own kitty or puppy in Busan, make sure you contact BAPS (or ShinDOGS). They are run by expat volunteers and so speak English, which makes things a hell of a lot smoother! I totally intend to give them a cash donation.

Hannah in a moment of elation

So, I got a text message...

So, I got a text message today from my "bank". The message is as follows:

"HELLO THIS IS BUSAN BANK. I WANT TO MAKE SURE UR A/C NUMBER CUZ OPPOSITE BANK REPLY THAT UR A/C NUMBER IS WRONG. PLZ CALL THIS NUMBER"

Just like that. All caps, and texting-speech preserved for your viewing pleasure. To be sure, this was a very important text! There seems to be an issue with my banking information and they want to know my A/C number. I replied in kind:

"YOU CAN BE TO HAS A/C!!1 IS TO ISN'T NOT A WHIZEN A/C. NUMBER ARE 1. PUSAN BANK PLZ TO HAVE AIR CONDITIONING!"

Now that my air conditioning number has been cleared up... "Also, if you want to make a good spamming text from a BANK, turn off caps-lock and use full words. Seriously... are you 12 or something? Don't call me again."

I have yet to hear a reply, but I can only assume that my Whisen air conditioning unit quantity has been received and verified by my local branch. Close one, right?? I hope my pay gets through!

...Idiots...

-Garrett

***UPDATE***

Well, I feel like Asshole of the Year! Apparently, that actually WAS my bank informing me that there was an issue with my recent bank transfer to TD Bank. Whoops... Well, the issue has since been resolved and the guy understood my confusion (after I apologized a few times... in PERSON). But seriously, what bank asks for details like that via frigging TEXT MESSAGE?!

Needles in My Feet

Another fun (I use the term loosely) experience was our first real korean acupuncture.
After much time spent looking for a place that had good reviews, or at least some sort of review so we could be certain it was a sketchy hell-hole we set out on an adventure. We heard of an English-speaking one down by the beach, and we just took off.
Surprise surprise, an hour of searching only to discover it was gone.
We begin walking home very very disappointed.
My knees are still a wreck, and Garrett's back was a huge knot.
Then, we realized, hey--
that sign says "하니ㅘㄴ (haniwon), meaning oriental clinic. That was enough for us, so we went in. After miming things to the secretary we saw the doctor, who, surprise surprise, had decent English. Turns out he specialized in feet and posture.

He took our foot prints and sat us down.
Looking at my foot print, he just says "ooh, many problems. This goes to your knees." (points to my foot and compares to an image on screen).
The guy was definitely trying to sell us on these 300,000\ insoles, but, other than that, he was great!

Then, the needles. Again, Garrett held my hand. I wasn't too scared, but, to my surprise, it hurt like a bitch. The needles were all in my feet. On nerves, almost poking my bones. I was pretty miserable. They chuckled as Garrett told me stories to calm me down, but the nurse had to stop herself from laughing out loud when I just started chanting "I love muffins. Think about muffins. chocolate chips."
Garrett was also in pain, but took it like a man.
In the end, I ran out vowing never to go back--which is a shame, because it worked great! The knots moved out of my knee the next day. They were in my quad, and my calf (but that's better! There they can be stretched out), but not my knees!!

And, it was only 6,000\ each! I would do it again if I wasn't a wuss..

Will you take my apples??

So, the other day (as in way back in December), I had a weird experience. I was teaching the 5th graders by myself as my co-teacher, 혀나 (Hyuna), was speaking exams in the hallway.

To review, we were playing a game. ESL in korea is mostly powerpoint games, no matter where you are. Me and Garrett try to do more exciting things, but sometimes you are specifically asked to play a stupid, waste-of-everytime's-time PPT game.
So, that is what I did.

Blah, blah, blah, we play this game, and at the end of class, the winning group comes to collect their candy (another requirement in Korean ESL. I, again, was required to hand out candy no matter how poorly they behave, or any other stipulation.)

Candy, candy, candy. Then, one particularly annoying student decides to stick his hand in the jar and pull out as many as he can. Now, I really do love my job, but this is one of my 5 or so students that are absolute terrors. He has a habit of sticking his hand in the candy jar and running away. Needless to say, I was not impressed. As I'm explaining to him that his behaviour is unacceptable, and there's no way he's getting candy after that, I see this poor girl who had been waiting patiently for a good 3 minutes I handed her a piece of victory candy.

Loud kid isn't paying attention, knocks her; she knocks over 혀나's coffee mug and annihilates every paper on the desk.
Annoying kid sulks away; girl freaks out and helps clean the mess up.





Here's the weird part. Next day, I come in to find an apple on my desk with a note (in korean). I think, oh, sweet, I have a brown-noser. 혀나 explains that the apple is from the girl the day before. In korean, the words "apology" and "apple" are the same, so by asking "내 사과를 받아 줄래?" you are asking for someone to accept both your apology and apple. It's a pretty nifty symbol that not only gets the point across but gets you a snack.
sweet!