Movies and Mermaids

Greetings from Korea, again!

It's been about a week since I last updated, and a lot has happened since. I can't go into all of the minutia (as much as I'd like to), but suffice it to say I've been quite busy with work and with play.

This week's Word of the Week is "movies". This is because, as Hannah mentioned in a previous post, the Busan International Film Festival (BIFF) was this week. Also, I talked about movies this week with my class in a very successful classroom activity.

The second day of the festival, Hannah and I went on a walk down to Haeundae beach. Sadly, no trace of our beloved hole was found. We did find, however, quite a bit of activity about midway down the beach. We were drawn in by some very mesmerizing skylights.

We discovered, upon out approach, that it was a massive stage surrounded by screaming teenage girls. Upon closer inspection, Hannah detected movement on the stage. We deduced that some of the actors and directors from the movies were there. They had very nice hair. I say this because I could only see their hair above the heads of the smartphone-equipped onlookers.

A couple of pretty ladies on stage that I can only assume are very rich and famous people.

Also, this thing kept scanning the crowd. It even hovered over my head for a good 30 seconds before retreating 50m away down the stage. I kinda wonder if it was an alien spacecraft?

I want to believe!

Hannah aptly compared it to an object from Perfect Dark (for N64)

In any case, we didn't bother seeing anything more. After being followed by "Big Brothers" flying, glowing eye we were a little weirded out. We decided to walk way down to the opposite side of the beach and watched people gut fish instead. We saw some interesting, city-sponsored Engrish along the way.

They USED to enjoy it until you put a frigging stage and mini military drones on it!

So, about a week later, Hannah and I finally decided to go out and see a movie. We originally intended to see "Happiness 2012", a Hong Kong film exploring what it means to be happy in 4 separate scenes, but it was sold out. We opted for a Filipino film called "Kalayaan", which still had seats available. Below is the film description from the BIFF webpage:

Julian, a soldier, is stationed on a deserted island in the Philippine archipelago while in the capital city of Manila a coup d’état ensues. The island is far removed from the chaos of civilization, still boasting a rather a primitive natural habitat. The only things connecting Julian with civilization are his walkie-talkie, radio and TV. As he stands guard on this deserted island, he begins to sense another presence. As the film progresses, Julian begins to lose his grip on what’s real and what’s imagined. When Julian loses touch with his base because of his own confused state, two soldiers are sent to the island to check on him. One of the soldiers tells the story of another once stationed on the island, who in turn spoke of a mermaid that he was in contact with, and how he was later driven to suicide. Adolfo Alix Jr.’s <Kalayaan> tells the story of a man stripped of all the trappings of civilization and his close encounter with nature in a surreal and poetic style.

 Sounds pretty interesting, doesn't it? I mean, it explores mental illness, isolation, and maybe even "oneness with nature". Hannah thought it would be a "snore-gasm", but I was pretty optimistic. Well, in a classic case of misplaced optimism, it would up being pretty tedious... though, I have to admit, they really captured how tedious it must be to be stationed on a remote island for months at a time.

This photo pretty much captures the plot and action in the movie... well, in between rather unnecessarily long scenes where the main character gets off to bad porn and creepy mermaids

But it's not all bad! I mean, there are a couple of scenes where there's a mermaid! But, hmm.... that mermaid really loves giving blow jobs to soldiers stationed in Southeast Asia. This reminds me of something....

Anyone remember this? "Me ruv you rong time!" Like this, but more like a fish.

It doesn't particularly help that the mermaid looked much less like Ariel from The Little Mermaid and more like the Zora princess from Ocarina of Time.

Now make the eyes yellow, add more scales, lose the "wings", and add a tail. Also, she should never smile... EVER. That's what moody Filipino soldiers find irresistible!

So, basically the movie was all about dull tedium, meaty Filipinos looking worried and pensive, and a good amount of sleeping, punctuated with periodic bouts of masturbation and a mermaid giving oral sex. In the end, the soldier died after getting head from the mermaid... must've been a killer blow job! (I am SO funny! I should do standup! :D).

But seriously... what the hell, Philippines?

To conclude, if I go to BIFF again, it will be to see short films.

Thanks for all the well-wishes we've been getting! I'm so happy to hear that we succeed in being funny!

And now, I leave you with a photo of my dear, sweet girlfriend in a Korean skin treatment mask.

The lovechild of an Egyptian mummy and a Mexican wrestler.

Cheers,

-Garrett